CCR

Quotes from L.D.S. Publications

 Spencer W. Kimball: Jesus was a listening leader. Because he loved others with a perfect love, he listened without being condescending. A great leader listens not only to others, but also to his conscience and to the promptings of God. (“Jesus: The Perfect Leader,” Ensign, Aug. 1979, 5)

Larry K. Langlois: Effective listening requires full attention, rather than the rapid switching between listening and talking that is involved in discussion. This rapid switching can preclude the more intensive, careful listening that allows a person to reveal his feelings. . . .

To listen is to understand, not to propose solutions. Helping to find solutions might be a next step, but it is not part of the listening process. In fact, it may even interfere with helpful listening. . . .

Problem-solving comes after real listening and understanding have taken place. . . .

As we listen, we need to concentrate on hearing the message, rather than on correcting the facts. . . .When we as listeners have already made up our minds about something, we may block out messages that do not fit our expectations. Disappointment, anxiety, fear, or other negative emotions can also block out even the clearest messages. Instead of projecting our feelings onto what someone is telling us, we need to concentrate on hearing the speaker’s feelings. . . .

Few people will share their inner thoughts or emotions unless they feel that the listener cares about them. Curiosity, badgering, threats, and use of authority are all poor substitutes for honest caring. . . .

As noted earlier, people often talk about facts when the real issue has to do with feelings. Often the context, not the words, conveys the real feeling. . . . People often express powerful emotions indirectly or imprecisely. The context of the discussion often conveys feelings and emotion beyond the meaning of the words. . . .

The Lord urges us to “be still and know that I am God.” (D&C 101:16.) This suggests that we cannot understand God or hear whatever message he might have for us if we are unwilling to be still and listen. By implication, we cannot understand anyone else or hear what they have to say unless we are willing to set aside our own concerns, postpone trying to convey messages, be still, and listen. (“When Couples Don’t Listen to Each Other,” Ensign, Sept. 1989, 16)

The Visiting Teacher: “. . . we must listen to each other with open hearts and minds. Active listening enables us to take into our hearts what is said. If we are only waiting to tell what we know, then we are not listening. As we listen, it is sometimes helpful to rephrase what we have heard and to ask a few questions. This often helps the speaker to think through her own situation and make her own decisions.” (“The Strength of Sisterhood,” Ensign, July 1993, 49)

Family Home Evening Resource Book: Listening with love involves trying to understand what a person is feeling, as well as what he is saying. (Family Home Evening Resource Book, Lesson Ideas, Listening, 202)