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Spencer W. Kimball: Why does the Lord ask you to love your enemies and to return good for evil? That you might have the benefit of it. It does not injure him [your enemy] so much when you hate a person, especially if he is far removed and does not come in contact with you, but the hate and the bitterness canker your unforgiving heart. (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, p. 103).
Spencer W. Kimball: We pray for our enemies. This will soften our hearts, and perhaps theirs, and we may better seek good in them. And this prayer should not be confined to national enemies but should extend to neighbors, members of the family, and all with whom we have differences. This is also required of us by the Redeemer, who said: “… Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? …” Matt. 5:44, 46-47.) (Faith Precedes the Miracle, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1972, p. 203).
David A. Bednar: When we believe or say we have been offended, we usually mean we feel insulted, mistreated, snubbed, or disrespected. And certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean-spirited things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us to take offense. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to offend you or to offend me. Indeed, believing that another person offended us is fundamentally false. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us by someone or something else. In the grand division of all God's creations, there are things to act and things to be acted upon (see 2 Ne. 2:13-14). As sons and daughters of our heavenly Father, we have been blessed with the gift of moral agency, the capacity for independent action and choice. Endowed with agency, you and I are agents, and we primarily are to act and not just be acted upon. To believe that someone or something can make us feel offended, angry, hurt, or bitter diminishes our moral agency and transforms us into objects to be acted upon. As agents, however, you and I have the power to act and to choose how we will respond to an offensive or hurtful situation. ("And Nothing Shall Offend Them," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 89.)
Neal A. Maxwell: In a marriage, a careless declaration hardens into a position, which position then becomes more important than communication or reconciliation. An intellectual stand is proudly and stubbornly defended even in the face of tutoring truth or correcting counsel. Yet occasionally, as we all know, backing off is really going forward. . . . The larger and the more untamed one’s ego, the greater the likelihood of his being offended, especially when tasting his portion of vinegar and gall. (“Irony: The Crust on the Bread of Adversity,” Ensign, May 1989, 62)
Wayne S. Peterson: . . . in most encounters we can determine the kind of experience we are going to have by how we respond. I was grateful that I chose to act in a friendly way rather than react to my young friend’s childish behavior. In doing so I avoided the negative feelings I would have felt had I followed my natural instinct. In His instructions to the Nephites, the Savior taught, “Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them” (3 Ne. 14:12). (“Our Actions Determine Our Character,” Ensign, Nov. 2001, 83)
Wayne S. Peterson: It may seem natural to react to a situation by giving back what is given to us. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Reflecting on his horrendous wartime experiences, Viktor Frankl recalled: “We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way” (Man’s Search for Meaning [1985], 86; emphasis added). That is noble behavior and a high expectation, but Jesus expects no less of us. “Love your enemies,” He said, “bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44). (“Our Actions Determine Our Character,” Ensign, Nov. 2001, 83
Hymn No. 336: (“School Thy Feelings,” Hymns, no. 336) School thy feelings, O my brother; train thy warm, impulsive soul. Do not its emotions smother, but let wisdom’s voice control.
Perry M. Christensen: You have saved your money for many years and have made many sacrifices in order to purchase an expensive luxury car. Finally, the day arrives when you have enough money to buy it. As you are driving your new car home, you are interrupted by a thump-thump-thump. You pull over to the side of the road and discover that you have a flat tire. “I can’t believe this car!” you exclaim as you slam the door. “I spent all that money on it—and for what?” Without a moment’s hesitation, you pull a can of gasoline from the trunk, douse the car, and ignite it. The luxury car with the flat tire is obliterated in a ball of fire. Sounds ridiculous, doesn’t it? Who would destroy a fine car because of one minor problem? Yet how many of us have allowed a relationship we have nurtured for years to go “up in flames” because of one careless remark? Or how many of us have forgone church activity because someone has offended us? (“That Ye Not Be Offended,” Ensign, Mar. 1991, 16)
Perry M. Christensen: “And if thy brother or sister offend thee, thou shalt take him or her between him or her and thee alone; and if he or she confess thou shalt be reconciled.” (D&C 42:88.) We need to take the initiative by seeking reconciliation with the person who offended us. The best way to do so is to quietly take the person aside and openly discuss the situation. (“That Ye Not Be Offended,” Ensign, Mar. 1991, 16)
Mary Ellen Edmunds: The more we pray for those who mistreat us, the less likely we will continue to consider them our enemies. . . . It is as much for our own good as for the good of our enemies that the Lord asks us to love them. (“I Have a Question,” Ensign, Dec. 1995, 51) |
