| Ezra Taft Benson: The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us. Pride is essentially competitive in nature. . . . Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride. Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. Contention ranges from a hostile spoken word to worldwide conflicts. The scriptures tell us that “only by pride cometh contention.” (Prov. 13:10; see also Prov. 28:25.) The scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges. (See 1 Ne. 16:1-3.) They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings. The proud do not receive counsel or correction easily. (See Prov. 15:10; Amos 5:10.) Defensiveness is used by them to justify and rationalize their frailties and failures. . . . We can choose to humble ourselves by conquering enmity toward our brothers and sisters, esteeming them as ourselves, and lifting them as high or higher than we are. We can choose to humble ourselves by receiving counsel and chastisement. We can choose to humble ourselves by forgiving those who have offended us. (See Matt. 3:9; John 6:30-59.) (“Beware of Pride,” Ensign, May 1989, 4-7) Russell M. Nelson: His peace is not necessarily political; His peace is personal. But that spirit of inner peace is driven away by contention. Contention does not usually begin as strife between countries. More often, it starts with an individual, for we can contend within ourselves over simple matters of right and wrong. From there, contention can infect neighbors and nations like a spreading sore. As we dread any disease that undermines the health of the body, so should we deplore contention, which is a corroding canker of the spirit. (“The Canker of Contention,” Ensign, May 1989, 68) Dallin H. Oaks: It is noteworthy that the Savior did not limit his teaching about disputations and contention to those who had wrong ideas about doctrine or procedure. He forbade disputations and contention by everyone, saying, “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me.” Men should not be stirred up “with anger, one against another.” (See 3Ne. 11:28-30) (The Lord’s Way, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1991, p. 142.) Marvin J. Ashton: When one considers the bad feeling and the unpleasantness caused by contention, it is well to ask, “Why do I participate?” If we are really honest with ourselves, our answers may be something like: “When I argue and am disagreeable, I do not have to change myself. It gives me a chance to get even.” “I am unhappy and I want others to be miserable too.” “I can feel self-righteous. In this way I get my ego built up.” “I don’t want others to forget how much I know!” Whatever the real reason, it is important to recognize that we choose our behavior. At the root of this issue is the age-old problem of pride. “Only by pride cometh contention.” (Prov. 13:10.) (“No Time for Contention,” Ensign, May 1978, 7) Marvin J. Ashton: Let me share with you some suggestions for alleviating contention: (1.) Pray to have the love of God in your heart. Sometimes this is a struggle, but the Spirit of the Lord can soften hard feelings and mellow a callous spirit. (2.) Learn to control your tongue. There is an old maxim and an excellent one: “Think twice before you speak and three times before you act.” (3.) Don’t allow emotions to take over; rather, reason together. (4.) Refuse to get embroiled in the same old patterns of argument and confrontation. (5.) Practice speaking in a soft, calm voice. The peaceful life can best be attained not by those who speak with a voice of “great tumultuous noise” but by those who follow the Savior’s example and speak with “a still voice of perfect mildness.” (Hel. 5:30.) (“No Time for Contention,” Ensign, May 1978, 7) Bruce R. McConkie: Contention leads to bitterness and smallness of soul; persons who contend with each other shrivel up spiritually and are in danger of losing their salvation. So important is it to avoid this evil that Jesus expects his Saints to suffer oppression and wrong rather than lose their inner peace and serenity through contention. (Doctrinal New Testament Commentary 1:228) Theodore M. Burton: Whenever you get red in the face, whenever you raise your voice, whenever you get “hot under the collar,” or angry, rebellious, or negative in spirit, then know that the Spirit of God is leaving you and the spirit of Satan is beginning to take over. At times we may feel justified in arguing or fighting for truth by contentious words and actions. Do not be deceived. Satan would rather have you contend for evil if he could, but he rejoices when we contend with one another even when we think we are doing it in the cause of righteousness. He knows and recognizes the self-destructive nature of contention under any guise. You can recognize the Spirit of Christ within you when you speak to one another or speak of another person with a warm smile instead of with a frown or scowl. (“Blessed Are the Peacemakers,” Ensign, Nov. 1974, 54) A. LaVar Thornock: Contention is often the result of selfishness. The person with a contentious spirit is usually thinking primarily of himself. And when we give in to such a spirit we separate ourselves further from the Spirit of God. “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me,” said the Lord, “but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another (3 Ne. 11:29). . . . Many experts declare that finances and incompatibility are the most common causes of marital disharmony. But in fact those two problems are only symptoms, not the real cause of marital illness. What, then, is that cause? Counseling hundreds of people over the past twenty-five years has convinced me it is selfishness. Most want to relieve their marriage difficulties by forcing their partner to change rather than changing themselves. The result is contention. (“Contention—and How to Eliminate It,” Ensign, Aug. 1980, 11) George Q. Cannon: Is it right for Latter-day Saints to contend and to have arguments? It is not right; it is not according to the mind and will of God. Whenever two Elders contend and argue, they may know and everyone may know that the Spirit of God is not there to the extent that it should be, because where the Spirit of God reigns there is no contention, no controversy. Men may differ in their views, but after they have expressed these differences then contention should cease, in fact, it should never exist. (George Q. Cannon, Gospel Truth, ed. Jerreld L. Newquist, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1987, p. 160; quoted in Dallin H. Oaks, The Lord’s Way, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1991, p. 140.) Russell M. Nelson: His peace is not necessarily political; His peace is personal. But that spirit of inner peace is driven away by contention. Contention does not usually begin as strife between countries. More often, it starts with an individual, for we can contend within ourselves over simple matters of right and wrong. From there, contention can infect neighbors and nations like a spreading sore. As we dread any disease that undermines the health of the body, so should we deplore contention, which is a corroding canker of the spirit. (“The Canker of Contention,” Ensign, May 1989, 68) Dallin H. Oaks: It is noteworthy that the Savior did not limit his teaching about disputations and contention to those who had wrong ideas about doctrine or procedure. He forbade disputations and contention by everyone, saying, “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me.” Men should not be stirred up “with anger, one against another.” (See 3Ne. 11:28-30) (The Lord’s Way, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1991, p. 142.) Marvin J. Ashton: When one considers the bad feeling and the unpleasantness caused by contention, it is well to ask, “Why do I participate?” If we are really honest with ourselves, our answers may be something like: “When I argue and am disagreeable, I do not have to change myself. It gives me a chance to get even.” “I am unhappy and I want others to be miserable too.” “I can feel self-righteous. In this way I get my ego built up.” “I don’t want others to forget how much I know!” Whatever the real reason, it is important to recognize that we choose our behavior. At the root of this issue is the age-old problem of pride. “Only by pride cometh contention.” (Prov. 13:10.) (“No Time for Contention,” Ensign, May 1978, 7) Marvin J. Ashton: Let me share with you some suggestions for alleviating contention: (1.) Pray to have the love of God in your heart. Sometimes this is a struggle, but the Spirit of the Lord can soften hard feelings and mellow a callous spirit. (2.) Learn to control your tongue. There is an old maxim and an excellent one: “Think twice before you speak and three times before you act.” (3.) Don’t allow emotions to take over; rather, reason together. (4.) Refuse to get embroiled in the same old patterns of argument and confrontation. (5.) Practice speaking in a soft, calm voice. The peaceful life can best be attained not by those who speak with a voice of “great tumultuous noise” but by those who follow the Savior’s example and speak with “a still voice of perfect mildness.” (Hel. 5:30.) (“No Time for Contention,” Ensign, May 1978, 7) Bruce R. McConkie: Contention leads to bitterness and smallness of soul; persons who contend with each other shrivel up spiritually and are in danger of losing their salvation. So important is it to avoid this evil that Jesus expects his Saints to suffer oppression and wrong rather than lose their inner peace and serenity through contention. (Doctrinal New Testament Commentary 1:228) Theodore M. Burton: Whenever you get red in the face, whenever you raise your voice, whenever you get “hot under the collar,” or angry, rebellious, or negative in spirit, then know that the Spirit of God is leaving you and the spirit of Satan is beginning to take over. At times we may feel justified in arguing or fighting for truth by contentious words and actions. Do not be deceived. Satan would rather have you contend for evil if he could, but he rejoices when we contend with one another even when we think we are doing it in the cause of righteousness. He knows and recognizes the self-destructive nature of contention under any guise. You can recognize the Spirit of Christ within you when you speak to one another or speak of another person with a warm smile instead of with a frown or scowl. (“Blessed Are the Peacemakers,” Ensign, Nov. 1974, 54) A. LaVar Thornock: Contention is often the result of selfishness. The person with a contentious spirit is usually thinking primarily of himself. And when we give in to such a spirit we separate ourselves further from the Spirit of God. “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me,” said the Lord, “but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another (3 Ne. 11:29). . . . Many experts declare that finances and incompatibility are the most common causes of marital disharmony. But in fact those two problems are only symptoms, not the real cause of marital illness. What, then, is that cause? Counseling hundreds of people over the past twenty-five years has convinced me it is selfishness. Most want to relieve their marriage difficulties by forcing their partner to change rather than changing themselves. The result is contention. (“Contention—and How to Eliminate It,” Ensign, Aug. 1980, 11) George Q. Cannon: Is it right for Latter-day Saints to contend and to have arguments? It is not right; it is not according to the mind and will of God. Whenever two Elders contend and argue, they may know and everyone may know that the Spirit of God is not there to the extent that it should be, because where the Spirit of God reigns there is no contention, no controversy. Men may differ in their views, but after they have expressed these differences then contention should cease, in fact, it should never exist. (George Q. Cannon, Gospel Truth, ed. Jerreld L. Newquist, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1987, p. 160; quoted in Dallin H. Oaks, The Lord’s Way, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1991, p. 140.) |
